Getting Back to Writing and NaNoWriMo

As previously mentioned, I have been a bit unmotivated to write since I graduated with my MFA in Creative Writing. Getting a degree in creative writing and then not writing is unfortunate. It somehow makes my degree seem pointless. Because of this I have had some thoughts and ideas, and I made a few decisions.

1. I seriously considered doing NaNoWriMo. The concept of writing 50,000 words in a month seemed appealing to me, but the panic set in pretty quickly at the thought of it. While I want to start writing again, I'm not sure I want to jump straight into the deep end after such a long time now swimming. The contest would likely influence me to actually write, but I am not sure that it would be worth the downhearted feeling I would get from not completing the full project. This is still an option, and I do have until November 1st to make this decision. 
2. I have considered seeking out contests on other websites to give me motivation to write. But, I'll be honest. I would probably not write anything new after all. Instead, I would try to find a story or poem I already have that would fit the contest, or I wouldn't participate in the contest at all. I would rather focus on writing something new for the sake of writing, and maybe submit some of my old works to journals now.
3. I could search the internet or books for writing prompts. Prompts have always helped to influence the formation of ideas, but this still wouldn't really get me writing. Ideas spin around in my head already, and while I jot down ideas, I generally don't write extensively right now. This is still a really good idea for when I start getting motivated to write.
4. I have considered joining forums or some sort of online community for support. In all honesty I searched for face-to-face meet ups or groups, but the idea of meeting a large (or small) group of strangers face to face terrified me. I have problems connecting with people in my everyday life. The thought of discussing my writing to a real, live person and being able to see their reactions in the flesh was not appealing. Thus, online forums. I am not really sure that this is the proper arena for me either. I think I'm just not really ready to share my projects with anyone. I would be interested in discussing the process of writing, though.
5. The final, and most likely to succeed, idea that I have sort of stems from the idea of NaNoWriMo. Instead of struggling to write an entire novel in a month (and risking the disappointment at not finishing), I think I will just create a daily writing schedule that I will follow no matter what. This would consist of setting aside a specific time each day (or in my case, night) to write. For example, maybe I could schedule to write at 8 pm every night for an hour. This would be nonstop writing, without revision. This is the same concept that is present in the NaNoWriMo contest, but without all of the added pressure of getting to 50,000 words.  

I really plan on writing at least a little every day throughout November. This seems like the most feasible and appropriate idea for someone who hasn't written much in months. I am still seriously considering signing up for NaNoWriMo for the experience, especially since I researched and discovered that the "novel" doesn't get put on the internet for everyone to see. That privacy aspect is very important to me, at least in the beginning of the writing process. 

Although, I suppose if I am going to participate in a novel writing experiment I should start thinking about what I will write. Ah, now that's the really hard part, isn't it?

Family Vacations

As December approaches, I am starting to get more nervous and more excited. No, not because of Christmas. Christmas has sort of become unimportant to me since I've become an adult (and sort of poor). It is pretty much a day to spend time with my mother and boyfriend, eating a nice dinner and doing family things. 

No, on December sixth, my mother and I will be going to Orlando, Florida to Universal Studios and the Islands of Adventure. This will be the fourth time I've been, so you'd think I wouldn't be this excited. I have found, though, that I don't have much to look forward to these days since school ended and I've been stuck in a sort of dead end job, so vacationing with my mother is something that brings me joy. 

My biggest piece of advice to everyone is to spend time enjoying the company of family while you have the chance. I am 31 years old, and I am going to a theme park with my mother. While this might seem a bit immature, it is something fun that I can do with my mother and involves something I love (Harry Potter). Last year, one of my mother's childhood friends (the daughter of a family friend) got a terrible case of the flu. This lead to infections (including blood and brain infections) and her untimely death. This sudden, terrible death made us both realize that life is really short and, and any second could be our last. I don't have children, I'm not married, and I don't have a demanding job at the moment. This means that I have time to actually spend with my mother, while both of us are healthy and free to leave for a week. 

I'm not saying that everyone should go on vacation to a theme park. That is just what WE like to do. But I would advise everyone to step back and take a moment to appreciate what they have, spend time with their loved ones, and cherish the lives they have while they have them. You never know when there will be no more time at all.

Writing about writing again

I’m feeling a little stagnant right now. I graduated from college in 2014, and I can’t seem to get motivated to do anything creative. I wrote so many stories when I was in the creative writing program at Lindenwood University, and created a successful thesis. I must have done a pretty good job with that creativity business because I got a 4.0, but now I feel like the creative juices have completely dried up. It is pretty painful for someone how used to love writing more than anything else. On a positive note I have started reading again (as I mentioned in a previous post), which has got me thinking creatively again. I have come up with a few ideas recently, which I have added to my notes. I just can’t seem to sit down and write anything productively. Right now I’m feeling really old and useless. I don’t even have a full time job. This would be the perfect time to write (before I start working 40 hours a week). I just get a little depressive about feeling a bit like a loser, so I end up laying around vegging out. I really just want to get motivated and write. If I could write a successful piece, that would be even better.

Anyone out there feel like this ever? How do you motivate yourself? How do you get out of a funk?

I’m hoping that this blog helps at least get me started with writing, even though this isn’t really what I mean by creative. We will see how long I can keep this up and how long it takes me to start writing again. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take forever.    

Reading again

I started reading again. This might sound silly, but since I started (probably) my second masters degree, I haven't really read a book for myself. I read a few continuations of book series, but I haven't started a new series, or read individual books. I have collections and collections of books on my kindle and on bookshelves, but I have either been too lazy to read (it's easier to veg out to the tv) or I just don't think about it until I'm too tired.  I went home to visit family for a week and took the opportunity to start a new book. I have to say that I have realized what I was missing. Reading a new book has made me want to read even more, and I am feeling inspired for writing as well. Ideas that had always been floating around in my head for stories have started becoming fuller ideas, and I've started really thinking up new concepts. I'm hoping this is a sign that it isn't too late for me to reach for my dreams.

Struggling to write

Since graduation I admit that I have struggled to write. It's not like I have no ideas, or the words escape me. It seems like I have just gotten lazy. How can someone be too lazy to sit and write? Well, I think a part of it is that I get a little depressed thinking about how old I am (31) and how little I have actually accomplished in my life. I sit down to write, and I think, "Why bother, it's not like anyone will actually want to read this." Or, "I should try to publish some of these poems, but I'm just going to get a lot of rejection letters." 

I realize this is not a healthy way to be, especially when writing used to be my passion. I know that I need to change the attitude and find my motivation again. One thing I really need to do is read more. When I was in school I had a mandatory reading list that I had to follow, so I didn't do a lot of reading for myself. Yes, there were a few books that I shoved into my schedule because I couldn't NOT read them (Harry Potter, Harry Dresden, Percy Jackson), but I haven't really sat down and started a new book or series since I started working on my final years of education. I need to sit down, turn off the television, and read a good (or even mediocre) book. I have a few books downloaded and ready in my Kindle, and I just bought three new poetry books. Hopefully, this will be the push I need to start the upward climb toward writing my own new fiction and poetry.

Now, a question for anyone that might happen by this post: What do you do to get motivated to write? What would you say is your writing strategy? Any advice for writing you have I would be grateful to have. 

Just a little rant

A friend of mine was bullied pretty cruelly on Facebook, and my brain was split in half between two thoughts. My first thought was to rip this rude girl apart on all levels in an attempt to make her feel just as small as she probably made my friend feel. The other thought was to ignore the rude girl because she was probably an internet troll, just commenting on her picture as a way to get reactions out of people.

Having someone call my friend "a whale" was bad enough. But then she had the gall to tell her that she was so fat she should just kill herself. As if there aren't enough depressed young people out there these days and enough young people killing themselves, it seems like this girl's goal was to get my friend to kill herself.

Luckily, my friend responded with confidence and sass, so I took my cue from her. I did respond in support of my friend, but I kept it civil and called the troll out on her immaturity and bad behavior. On her Facebook page, the troll claimed to be a fan of Harry Potter. I told her that J. K. Rowling would not approve of her behavior, because our favorite author loves and accepts people of all shapes and sizes.

I can understand wanting to get reaction out of others on the internet. People love attention, and maybe she isn't getting enough at home. I just can't understand getting this attention through cruelty. Her reasoning was that she hates humanity, but that's a terrible way to go through life. Maybe we should actually be pitying her instead of being angry, because obviously she is missing out on some emotional need at home. I choose to be polite, even to internet trolls. Being angry or aggressive toward them only feeds their hatred and makes them worse.

School

After one more terribly written, absolutely terrifying rejection type comment from my portfolio professor I am completely depressed. I should add that I am alone in my apartment with no one to really talk to about it. I really am beginning to wonder if I will even be able to graduate and it's depressing. But at the same time, my frustration is rising to the point where I'm thinking, "Screw it. I've already been excepted to a creative writing program at another school. If I don't graduate, I'll still have someplace to go."
BTW. I feel that I should add the professor's response to my writing, so that people can understand why I am not only upset but a little pissed off (this professor can NEVER apply revisions to her own writing, apparently).
"While heading in right directin (ie oeral cohernet claim/vision) this seems to be excessive in terms of patchworking: the quoted sections are HUGE and the anbalysis parts (ie of your own work) are general and not particularly focused/connected...ie the same sort of generalising tendency in your writing is showing here about your writing ABOIUT your writing...What is you spent more time discussing specifics AND possibly providing sample revbisions of those passages"